were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
