I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
