He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
