we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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