I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
