Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
