Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
