why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
