I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize