We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
