Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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