i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
