So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
