So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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