We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
