Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
