Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
