Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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