a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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