Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
