i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
