i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
