Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dear god my vagina.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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