dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i love accidental penises.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
