I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
