would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
