love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it hurts more in the daytime
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
