Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
