check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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