from now on my penis is your penis
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
