Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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