I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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