you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I looked at my own cervix.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
