is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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