Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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