Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
