My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
