new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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