I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize