I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
