I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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