i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
