my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
