we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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