She's JV to your varsity
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
