So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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