I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
