I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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