NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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