don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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