I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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