He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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