party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
