Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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