I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
