i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
