I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
