I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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