i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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