Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize