what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
