I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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