It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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