I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Pooping to opera.
Randomize