feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
