don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
