don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
