you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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