Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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